Is A Stranger In Your Home?
Contributed by Elaine Landau
Hi, my name is Elizabeth. I’m thirteen and I love horses and I read a lot. We move around a bunch because of my Dad’s job and I really hate always being the new kid.
Hi Elizabeth. I’m Tracy. I’m thirteen, too. My Dad is in the Army and we go all over the place. I’ve been in nine schools and being the new kid stinks, I know. Do you want to know how I handle it?
Sure.
I go to school to learn, and then I come home and talk to my real friends in this chat room. We move so much and I always think I’ll stay in touch with friends, but that never really happens.
I know what you mean, Tracy. I try to write letters and stuff, but after a while, I don’t have anything to say.
No kidding. Gee, Elizabeth, you really get it. It’s nice to find somebody who doesn’t have stupid advice like, “Just walk up to somebody and say I’m new here. Do you want to be friends?” I mean, who can really do that?
Not me.
Do you have any brothers and sisters, Elizabeth?
One sister. She’s five years older and she has her own problems.
I don’t have a sister. Just my Mom, but she works all the time. Does your sister call you Elizabeth or Beth or what?
Liz.
Can I call you Liz?
Sure. That would be great. Gotta go, Tracy. My Mom is calling me for dinner. Want to talk later?
Anytime, Liz. Just log on and I’ll be here.
Sounds like an innocent enough encounter, right? The only problem is that Elizabeth, thirteen and lonely, could be talking to a forty-two-year-old convicted sex offender Horace, not thirteen-year-old Tracy. Within a few short conversations, Horace can earn Elizabeth’s trust. She could divulge enough information so that Horace knows exactly where she lives, where she goes to school, and when her parents are out of the house. He can take his time so Elizabeth will consider Tracy her best friend. So when that special friend suggests meeting in person, Elizabeth might jump at the chance. Tracy could convince her that telling her parents will just get them worried and besides, Tracy’s mother might get mad if she finds out. They both decide to keep their rendezvous a secret.
And when Elizabeth disappears one day from her home, her parents will be baffled. The little girl didn’t have a lot of friends, so they won’t even know where to start looking. There won’t be a happy ending to this story. And it all started because a little girl was lonely and wanted a friend.
Avoid Bad Endings
How could Elizabeth’s parents protect her? Parents need to be educated. With basic computer education and basic computer instruction, parents can become as computer savvy as their children. Computer online tutorials and basic Internet training can prove invaluable when combating these kinds of concerns.
Software is available that will allow parents, grandparents, guardians, and anyone who looks after children to control who they contact online. Adults can prohibit access to harmful sites, prevent unacceptable programs from being downloaded, and block unwanted e-mail. All of this protection can be password protected so only the parent can modify restrictions.
It will never happen to my kids.
Oh yeah?
Millions of kids use Instant Messaging applications on the family computer, so keep in mind that adults aren’t the only people who have sexual solicitations made through Instant Messages. Okay, so you can instruct your children to avoid Instant Messaging.
Your child uses the Internet to research school projects. That is acceptable because the Internet is an excellent resource. Did you know that a large majority of children have been exposed to pornography on the Web by simply typing in a seemingly innocent word to find information or pictures for a homework assignment? Safe use of the computer isn’t always so safe.
Children who visit chat rooms can easily be approached by pedophiles on the Internet. And although the media rarely publishes the direct link between missing children and Internet usage, an astounding number of children are reported missing per year. In fact, someone’s child was most likely reported missing during the few minutes you spent reading this article. If the Internet wasn’t an effective tool to lure children, sex offenders wouldn’t bother. Instead, they log on to find vulnerable lonely young people to make them their next victims.
So, as responsible parents, do we ban our children from the computer? That would be an extreme and unfortunate choice. Try to avoid problems before they start. Put the family computer in the family room so everyone can see what sites and chat rooms are being accessed. Parents should limit the time their children are online. They should know what chat rooms they visit and who they talk to. Children should be told to never divulge personal information. If an online friend suggests a face-to-face meeting, and your child really wants to meet their friend in person, accompany your child to the meeting.
Keep in mind that online predators seek out young kids who are lonely, have low self-esteem, and lack parental supervision. Perhaps parents need to take a good hard look at their relationships with their children to make sure that their kids don’t fit the victim profile.
About the Author:
Elaine Landau is a freelance writer, publicist, web site editor, and produced television writer with more than 15 years of experience in marketing, advertising, and publicity.
This article is intended for general informational purposes and does not provide legal or other professional advice. All trademarks contained herein are the property of their respective owners. Please read our disclaimer for additional terms and conditions governing access to and use of this article.
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