Matching Your Life With What’s Most Important

Contributed by Jennifer Goldman

Do you take on so many responsibilities in your life that it seems you can never quite get everything done? You’re probably so busy trying to fulfill your obligations that “me time” spent relaxing or pursuing gratifying interests is last on your list of priorities. And with so much to do, chances are you rarely if ever get to the bottom of your to-do list.

Maybe you mean to spend more time with your kids, but the majority of your time and energy is focused on bringing home the bacon. You may struggle with feelings of frustration or failure. Sometimes it can seem as though there will never be enough time in the day for you to achieve your goals. But putting those enjoyable activities that reenergize you last on your list of priorities (Your attitude being, “I’ll get to those if I can.”) simply isn’t the answer to making your schedule, or your life, more manageable.

Creating balance in your life mainly involves two things: identifying your true priorities, and managing your time effectively. Here are some methods for making room for the important things in your life, without leaving you feeling burnt out or overloaded. Remember, the goal is for you to satisfy your needs and responsibilities in all of these areas; it isn’t just about squeezing everything in at the expense of your welfare.

When you’re considering what matters most in your life, don’t dismiss the importance of taking some time for yourself. If you need some justification: nourishing your body, mind, and spirit with fun, inspiring, or restful activities will revitalize you so that you may resume less appealing tasks with renewed gusto.

Consider the fact that every individual has needs and responsibilities in the following categories: biological, psychological, and spiritual. Gratifying your needs in all of these areas doesn’t necessarily have to mean giving them equal time. If you work to achieve a feeling of accomplishment and strive to climb your way up the ladder and be among the best in your field, then it makes sense for you to work long hours. However, if you go to work primarily to earn a paycheck, your workday should end at punch-out time and you should find a job that allows you to limit your hours to a set schedule. Either way, you need to leave work at work. Just like you need to focus your attention on the task at hand when you’re on the job, you need to live in the moment when you go home to your family. You may only have a few hours before bedtime to be with your kids, but if you are mentally, physically, and spiritually present at that time, the quality of that experience will override the brevity of the session. It’s a myth that multitasking always results in optimal efficiency. Multitasking often tears our attention in many directions, so that no one thing gets the focus it deserves. It’s better to give your attention to fewer things one at a time, than to give a half-hearted effort to countless different tasks. That’s why you need to cross some lower priority items off your list.

One of those ways to cross some unnecessary items off your to-do list is to enforce necessary boundaries. Are you always doing favors for friends even though it means less sleep or time to read that novel that’s been sitting on your bedside table for months? You need to realize that it’s ok to refuse another person’s request when performing what’s asked of you. You need to be realistic about how much time or energy you can afford to spare, particularly when it comes to sacrificing for the fulfillment of some one else’s agenda. You won’t be doing your friend much of a favor if you have to break a promise at the very last minute when you realize you’ve set an unrealistic goal. It’s better to say no outright. Refusing a favor now and then will open up precious time in your schedule for that long soak in the tub or that photography class you’ve always wanted to take. The people who rely on you need you to do whatever it takes to remain as healthy and happy as possible. Otherwise, you won’t have the energy to give tasks your all.

Create lists of your priorities for several different levels of importance ranging from most crucial to trivial or unnecessary. Assign each list a different color. Once you’ve separated your priorities into these categories, create a corresponding to do list for each. Then get out your calendar or date book and enter these tasks under the dates during which you plan to perform them. Transfer the corresponding color code to the date book or calendar. You can even create a Microsoft® Excel® chart and break down your day into an hourly schedule. Either way applying the color code will allow you to see how large a time block you are devoting to each category. Although time allocation isn’t everything—quality goes along way to make up for lack of quantity—your time should be fairly well balanced. Look for major discrepancies like tremendous blocks devoted to things on your “trivial” list with miniscule blocks dedicated to items you’ve identified as much more important. If you spy a major imbalance, it’s time to make an adjustment.

The activity should prove illuminating and will ideally enable you to get your schedule in line with your priorities, resulting in a more manageable and gratifying day-to-day existence.

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About the Author:
Jennifer Goldman is a freelance writer, editor, and proofreader living in Denver, Colorado.

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